Wednesday, December 23, 2009

A Touch of Frost

I like a photo that can sum up something so well, so vast yet all it took was a simple click. I hope you like them...

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

I just want money...

Thats what I want! Seriously though, money is the source of all evil, you can never have enough of it at times when you don't need it, but when you really do need money it can put a damper on your dreams...

Now you might think I am being a slight bit over the top, but the bottom line is, I have a dream, my dream is to go to America and play college soccer. In order for me to do this I need to get a scholarship, scholarships pay for your education in return for you playing soccer for a the scholarship college in question. This might sound all hunky-dorey but there is so much more costs involved than that.

First of all, most colleges out in the US don't offer full scholarships, so you have to pony up the dough to pay for the remaining tuition the scholarship does not cover. There is also visa costs, costs for taking a SAT test, costs for converting any qualifactions you may have in the UK to US equivalents, applying for the "clearing house" (which is the institution that rubber stamps international student applications), costs for verifying qualifications, health insurance and flight costs (for going out there initially and for visiting back and forth from the US to the UK. There is also a problem with living out there, under a student visa you are not permitted to work off campus, and being a "student athlete" out there tends to take up alot of time so part time work might not even be an option.

If I had the money I would have no problem with the above. My wonderful girlfriend has even offered to help me out, but being a man I have refused. That is not the main reason though, the fact I am a man means I have my pride yes, but I would not want to ask her for money, the odd tenner here and there, if I need to use her card online etc, but most of the above I could not afford, and I couldn't expect her to pay for the rest. The actual fact is that I love her so much that I am afraid to let her down, if I accept her financial help and fail out there then how could I live with myself?

All in all I apparently (through seeking advice) I would need £1500. To some that might not sound alot, but my job does not pay particularaly too well, I have other obligations aswell. Maybe dreams are always meant to be dreams?

Friday, December 18, 2009


It seems I may, just may have made a slight mistake on a previous post! Turns out that teletext is to close mid-december, but only in Jersey! HAHA! I cannot believe that I missed the big 'Jersey' header on the BBC's 'Jersey' website. I have no excuses. However I will end this post on the same note as I did the initial one:

"So yes, farewell teletext (in jersey)!

Thursday, December 17, 2009

My Portfolio (well some it)...

Hello everyone, I was having a break at work and was reading a blog. Her designs she posted was amazing, and I really do like seeing other peoples work, especially if you can see the design process behind it! By seeing that I have decided to post some of my designs too. I have been to college and university studying design and over the years I have managed to build a portfolio of work, below is a random selection from that same portfolio, not all of my portfolio is digitalised unfortunately. Hope you like it...

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

A Fond Fairwell to Teletext...

I just found out today that the teletext information service on analogue and digital television will close across the UK tomorrow!

It was inevitable with the internet being more favourable these days, but I remember the good ol' days where you checked the weather and the weekends lottery numbers on teletext. If you've ever looked up your flight information on page 295, or checked out the TV listings it is the end of an era.

I was always pressing the wrong bloody buttons though so would end up at pages I didn't want to, then I would get annoyed with how long I had to wait for it to go back! Ahhhh good times!

So yes, farewell teletext! (I wonder if this means they have got rid of Ceefax???).

Monday, December 7, 2009

Health & Safety and Equality Considerations for Christmas Songs

I was sent this earlier on to day, "Health & Safety and Equality Considerations" for Christmas, looks like Scrooge has been out-played on this one, read on...

The Rocking Song:
"Little Jesus, sweetly sleep, do not stir;
We will lend a coat of fur,
We will rock you, rock you, rock you,
We will rock you, rock you, rock you …"

Fur is no longer appropriate wear for small infants, both due to risk of allergy to animal fur, and for ethical reasons. Therefore faux fur, a nice cellular blanket or perhaps micro-fleece material should be considered a suitable alternative.

Please note, only persons who have been subject to a Criminal Records Bureau check and have enhanced clearance will be permitted to rock baby Jesus. Persons must carry their CRB disclosure with them at all times and be prepared to provide three forms of identification before rocking commences.

Jingle Bells:
"Dashing through the snow
In a one horse open sleigh
O'er the fields we go
Laughing all the way …"

A risk assessment must be submitted before an open sleigh is considered safe for members of the public to travel on. The risk assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for such a venture, particularly if passengers are of larger proportions. Please note, permission must be gained from landowners before entering their fields. To avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we would request that laughter is moderate only and not loud enough to be considered a noise nuisance.

While Shepherds Watched:
"While shepherds watched
Their flocks by night
All seated on the ground
The angel of the Lord came down
And glory shone around …"

The union of Shepherds has complained that it breaches Health and Safety regulations to insist that shepherds watch their flocks without appropriate seating arrangements being provided, therefore benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available. Shepherds have also requested that, due to the inclement weather conditions at this time of year, they should watch their flocks via CCTV cameras from centrally heated shepherd observation huts.

Please note, the angel of the lord is reminded that before shining his / her glory all around he / she must ascertain that all shepherds have been issued with glasses capable of filtering out the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and Glory.

Rudolph the red nosed reindeer:
"Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer
Had a very shiny nose.
And if you ever saw him,
You would even say it glows …"

You are advised that under the Equal Opportunities act, it is inappropriate for persons to make comment with regard to the ruddiness of any part of Mr. R. Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion of Mr R Reindeer from the Reindeer Games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against those found guilty of this offence. A full investigation will be implemented and sanctions - including suspension on full pay - will be considered whilst this investigation takes place.

Little Donkey:
"Little donkey, little donkey on the dusty road
Got to keep on plodding onwards with your precious load …"

The RSPCA have issued strict guidelines with regard to how heavy a load that a donkey of small stature is permitted to carry, also included in the guidelines is guidance regarding how often to feed the donkey and how many rest breaks are required over a four hour plodding period. Please note that due to the increased risk of pollution from the dusty road, Mary and Joseph are required to wear face masks to prevent inhalation of any airborne particles. The donkey has expressed his discomfort at being labelled 'little' and would prefer just to be simply referred to as Mr. Donkey. To comment upon his height or lack thereof may be considered an infringement of his equine rights.

We Three Kings:
"We three kings of Orient are
Bearing gifts we traverse afar
Field and fountain, moor and mountain
Following yonder star …"

Whilst the gift of gold is still considered acceptable - as it may be redeemed at a later date through such organisations as 'cash for gold', etc. - gifts of frankincense and myrrh are not appropriate due to the potential risk of oils and fragrances causing allergic reactions. A suggested gift alternative would be to make a donation to a worthy cause in the recipient’s name or perhaps give a gift voucher.
We would not advise that the traversing kings rely on navigation by stars in order to reach their destinations and suggest the use of RAC Routefinder or satellite navigation, which will provide the quickest route and advice regarding fuel consumption. Please note as per the guidelines from the RSPCA for Mr Donkey, the camels carrying the three kings of Orient will require regular food and rest breaks. Facemasks for the three kings are also advisable due to the likelihood of dust from the camels’ hooves.

Away in a Manger:
"Away in a Manger,
No Crib for a bed …"

Social services???????

Thursday, December 3, 2009


I think it is very satisfying for someone when they have the ability to make more than one person happy at once. It seems this Christmas will be one to remember!

"If someone else is happy then I'm happy, if more than one person is happy through my actions then I'm even happier".
Terry Olivo (Me)

Wednesday, December 2, 2009


I was reading the paper this morning and I came across an article about a French fella called Eric Joisel. He spends more than 100 hours folding a single piece of paper to create his breathtaking origami pieces. Have a look at his website, he has a truly amazing talent. He actually sells his "sculptures" for as much as 4 grand a go!

If you look on his website you will see loads of different designs, he even shows you how to do some of them, along with plan drawings where all the folds should go etc. Origami has never really interested me, I have folded the odd aeroplane here and there, maybe even 1 or 2 sailor hats but by seeing Eric's work it really has opened my eyes, I may have to invest in some paper....

"When people ask how long it takes to make a sculpture I say '35 years' because that is how long it has taken me to get to this level"
Eric Joisel

Friday, November 27, 2009

Reading FC

It is now confirmed, I am going to a trial day at Reading football club on December 6th! Despite being 21 they have facilities for "over 18s trials" as they call it, so I'm quids in. All I have to do is make sure I save a few shots and don't drop the ball and it could lead somewhere (yes this does mean I am a goalkeeper). And just incase any Americans are reading I am referring to English football...

From the information I have been told, along with Reading FC, there will be scouts attending this trial day, clubs ranging from the Premier League to semi-pro teams. I was only talking with my girlfirend the other day about being a professional football player, it was really more of a joke than anything, but I decided to look for trials online anyway and this opportunity revealed itself. I mean every boy from the age of 7 that loves football will always say "I want to be a footballer when I grow up" and typically I was one of those boys! So I guess this is my last shot? I will let y'all know what happens if anything happens...

Thursday, November 26, 2009

The Phantom Flag Flyer...

Seriously, have a butchers at this! It is brilliant. I know who it is aswell but my lips are sealed...


"Thats too cloudy to be a Jack Daniels and coke."
Christoper Hayes

The fact Chris was extremely drunk and the glass of drink we had collectively mixed for him looked nothing like a Jack and coke made this statement hilarious.... (It is one of those "had to be there" moments but worth mentioning none-the-less).

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

"There is no abstract art. You must always start with something. Afterward you can remove all traces of reality." Pablo Picasso

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

From the words of Monty Python...

"Always look on the brightside of life"

A quote I have lived with for many a years now, ever since I was adopted at the age of 7 I still managed to look on the "brightside of life". I remember when I first heard it, on the radio, on the way to Jaywick near Clacton with the foster carers I was with at the time. The ironic thing of it all is... I have decided to get into Social Work myself, mainly because of the dire-need for social workers at the moment but also because I feel I could help people the same way I was helped back in the day! I am soon to begin volunteer work within my local council which should point me in the right direction...

Brickin' it

Here is a few pictures from the weekend. One of my good friends Chris (red chequered shirt) is sodding off to Austria with John (green chequered shirt) until April next year! So in celebration of his last friday in London we got pissed in style, well we went Brick Lane actually. Good night, ended up with some epic walk which ended up rather uneventful and also ended up with 4 of us in a cab home-bound, but I heard Steve and our friends for the night Gemma and Jasmin got home at 7 in the morning!!! (I do not envy this however I do know tfl can be a bastard like that).

The first picture features me, my girlfriend Tash and a homeless fellow (or so he says). For his time dedicated to our picture I gave him 50p, I now regret doing this as the next day Jos (blue chequered shirt) went down to the Lane with his mum and our photo-friend apparently abused them with foul language... When will the karma kick in ay?

Monday, November 23, 2009

After a hard days work...

It seems that I have now spent all day at work concentrating on this page. The phrase "time flies when you're having fun" springs to mind. I know it is not very impressive, but I am sure that soon enough my skills will improve and my page won't look as childish as it does now.

Getting to know you...

I am trying to think of the cleverest most wittiest opener for this thing and for some reason I cannot! This is very unusual as I am hardly ever stuck for words. Maybe I am trying too hard to impress with my first blog post (even though no-one even knows I have created one!) or it could quite possibly be the fact I am at work which is somehow blocking my creative abilities!

Never-the-less I have successfully created my first blog post, the first of many that could quite possibly have no particular meaning or make no particular sense at all.

*I feel I should put something here thats worth while but at the same time says goodbye but work is still curbing my creativity*